6 Ways to Spring Clean Your Relationships
As the last part of the #springcleansunday series, I want to give you a few tips on how to improve one of the most important things for overall wellbeing – your relationships. All too often, we take care of our bodies but not our mental health, and the people you surround yourself have a lot to do with that. On the other hand, it could also be the case that you fail to take care of your health just because people in your life are unsupportive. So let’s change that.
- Make a list – Yes, this list is asking you to make another list. Write down all the people that have any impact on your daily life, whether it’s a coworker, family member, friend or acquaintance. Try not to think too much; just note after each name how that person makes you feel. Happy, sad, jealous, frustrated…be honest with yourself and write the first thing that comes to mind.
- Take responsibility – Perhaps harder than admitting that some people aren’t good for you, is recognizing your own responsibility in the situation. It may be that you are subconsciously perpetuating a negative pattern by hanging on to and recreating certain things, or perhaps you are too afraid to confront what is truly bothering you. Regardless of what it is, you know, deep down what you can do to improve your relationship to any given person – whether that means letting them go, having an honest conversation, or apologizing to them. Until you make a choice, nothing will change.
- Increase the good stuff – Have a look at your list. Which ones fall in the category of positive emotions? How can you decrease the negative influencers in your life and increase the positive ones? Maybe you will find that the ones that give you most joy are the people you don’t see too often because you are busy dealing with all the draining ones. Or, perhaps you simply take the good ones for granted and direct your focus in the wrong places due to perpetual self-sabotage? Begin noticing where you put your energy, and look for those little moments where you get the opportunity to change things around.
- Apologize – One of the first things we learn as children is to say sorry when we do something wrong. It is often the case that the older we get, the more we think we know – hence it becomes increasingly difficult to admit we were wrong. Acknowledge the fact that no one knows it all, and there is not one single person alive on this planet that made it through life without hurting another live being in some way. It’s part of our human and spiritual experience, one that simply won’t be complete unless you close the circle and own up to your mistakes.
- Walk away – Not every relationship can be saved. Not everything should be fixed. Sometimes the only right decision is to walk away, both for you and the other person. Recognize that the only way some people will ever truly learn their lesson, is by you showing them the consequence of their actions. Walking away from a friend, spouse, or relative you have loved for a very long time is incredibly hard; but it may be the best thing you can do for both them and you. Loss teaches us more than anything else, and only by losing you will they be able to change in the future. If they don’t… well, then it’s a good thing you aren’t around to experience it any longer.
- Love yourself – As ridiculously cliché as it sounds, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. No matter how many amazing people you manage to surround yourself with, you will never see them for their worth or truly enjoy the gift of those good spirited souls unless you see your own value. Listen to the things you say to yourself, and say them out loud like if you were talking to one of your friends. Does it feel good? If not, then you are probably the worst bully in your own life and that needs to change. There is no amount of external kindness that can salvage pain that is caused by yourself. Imagine living in an abusive relationship with someone who is constantly in your ear telling you other people are lying when they say you’re pretty, or that you’re going to fail no matter what you do… after a while, that’s all you believe. Do whatever you have to do to break the circle and shut that bully down! As always, the solution begins with recognizing the problem.
I hope you found something valuable for YOU in this post, and feel free to share these tips with someone you think may need it!
And why not show yourself some love and sign up for one of my membership plans..? Who knows, it just might be the beginning of your new life.